


What's in a Name?

by Lywinis



Series: One Shots -- Capsicoul [18]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Getting Together, M/M, Metafiction, Steve ships it, self awareness, tongue in cheek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-23
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-20 13:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1511573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lywinis/pseuds/Lywinis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve discovers the internet — and subsequently, shipping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's in a Name?

"Phil, what does ‘Capsicoul’ mean?"

Phil almost spat out his mouthful of tea, but managed to save it by swallowing. It was still hot, however, and he coughed as it burned going down. Steve was behind him in an instant, patting him on the back as he got his breath back.

"Where…where did you hear the term?" Phil managed to choke out, wiping his mouth with his napkin. His breakfast sat on the desk, forgotten for the moment.

"Well, I went onto that website. You know, the one where the Avengers’ pictures are posted?" Steve looked a little perturbed, settling himself into the chair opposite Phil’s desk. Phil was kind of grateful that the super soldier was comfortable enough in his office to just take a seat. He got his breath back, leaning back in his chair. He set aside the offending mug of tea, turning it so that the Captain America shield painted on it was out of sight. No sense playing the fanboy.

"The official Avengers Tumblr?" Phil asked, reddening.

"That’s the one!" Steve brightened, snapping his fingers in a little ‘aha!’ motion. It was, to be frank, adorable. "Someone mentioned it, and said that you ran it. I wanted to see. I was reading the comments, and someone said something about Capsicoul. I wondered what it meant."

"O-oh." Phil swallowed, the burn on his throat helping to focus him. "Tumblr, is…well, it’s a social community. There are subsets of fans for almost every niche. It makes sense that there are fans of the Avengers there. And, just like any group, there are gossips."

"Gossips?" Steve asked, looking quizzical.

Phil braced himself. “How familiar are you with the term ‘shipping’?”

"You mean, like when you send a package out?" Steve was confused, and Phil took a moment to soak it in, because he was going to have to wipe the confusion off Steve’s face, in the most embarrassing way possible.

"No, this is a term used solely in fandom. It means you want to see two people, or characters, in a relationship. Sometimes, that means just friendship, but most of the time, it means, well, sexually." Phil swallowed, eyes darting around at anything but Steve. "Fandom pairs up people, and comes up with names for the pairings. So, for example, if it were Peter and Carol, the ship name has been shortened to Petrol."

"Seriously?" Steve’s eyes widened. "They…think we should pair off like that?"

"Fandom is a strange beast," Phil replied. "You see all sorts. But, well, someone managed to get my name, and they’ve started, uh, pairing me up, since I’m one of the faces of SHIELD."

"Wait…you?" Steve’s brow knit. "That’s not fair to you, or to any of us. We have our own private lives, and it’s none of their business."

"Well, yes. But it’s never serious. It’s all an elaborate, game, or a story, I suppose." Phil gave a shrug. "It’s not hurting anyone."

"It’s defamation of character," Steve replied, his voice quiet. "After all you’ve done for them, for everyone, it’s not right."

"Like I said, it’s not hurting anyone." Phil smiled. "I’m secure in the knowledge that they can’t actually make me do anything I don’t want to do — me or anyone else."

Steve scowled. “It’s still not right.”

"Well, it’s kind of funny. It’s a projection, if you think of it that way. They want you to be happy, so they make up stories of how happy you are. Or sad, or whatever. It makes people happy to do so. I’m not going to begrudge them that."

"It really doesn’t bother you?" Steve asked.

"Not particularly. It’s a part of living in the public eye. As the Avengers’ liaison for SHIELD, I’m in the public eye now." Phil took a sip of his tea. "I know you feel a little bit like it’s the USO all over again, but you’re not being paid for it, nor are you required to acknowledge it in any shape or form, if you don’t want to."

Steve sighed. “It’s just…I guess things are different.”

"Perhaps a little. It’s more open now than it was, thanks to the connectivity of the internet." Phil smiled at Steve. "But you can ignore it if you want."

"Well, it’s just…I saw you paired with Clint." Steve looked perturbed. "Romantically."

"I prefer us as father and son, honestly." Phil smiled. "It’s what’s known as a ‘brotp’, or just a kind of friendship. It’s the truth, too, which makes it more fun. It’s abbreviated Phlint, I think. Some people like to call it Bowtie. Most of them are pretty friendly. Besides, you know he and Natasha are an item."

"Oh." Steve thought for a moment. "So, what’s Capsicoul short for?"

"Uh," Phil said, searching for the right way to go about it. "Well, they like us, together, as a couple. Someone leaked a grainy video of the whole ‘I watched you while you were sleeping’ fiasco — and I’m still sorry about that, by the way — and it took off from there. Capsicoul is the short form of our pairing name."

"Hm." And that was all he said. Phil raised an eyebrow.

"It’s not upsetting anymore?"

"Well, what if I like it?" Steve asked, and Phil swore he forgot to breathe for a moment. "If I like it, it shouldn’t bother me, right?"

"You wouldn’t prefer to be shipped with Stark? There seem to be a lot of them out there who seem to think you two would make quite the pair, if you’re throwing that out there." Phil gave him a careful glance, hiding behind his tea mug.

"I prefer to be with someone who didn’t try to pick a fight at every damn turn," Steve said, scowling. "Stark’s a genius, he makes amazing things, but he’s not exactly the easiest fella to work with."

Phil took a sip of his tea to cover his discomfort. “Well, some people think it makes the relationship work.”

"Well, some people would be wrong." Steve’s eyes were flinty. "Stark is my team mate, and maybe one day we’ll be friends. I’m not so keen on jumping into bed with him, though."

"But you’re fine with Capsicoul." Phil couldn’t help but be amused. "You’re fine with the idea of someone shipping the two of us together? Being paired up with another man?"

"Well, it’s not true, but it’s…nice," Steve said, shrugging in discomfort. He shifted in his seat. "I mean, if it makes you uncomfortable, well…"

"I’ve already told you it doesn’t." Phil’s eyebrow rose another notch. "Is this an attempt to ask me out to dinner, Captain?"

"It’s a horribly botched attempt to ask you out to dinner," Steve admitted, reddening. He stumbled up from his chair, heading for the door. "I’m just gonna…go."

"You know you don’t have to," Phil said. Steve paused, his hand on the doorknob. "You knew what it was all along, I’m guessing."

"Yeah, I did. I wanted your input on it, though." Steve shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. Phil stood, smoothing down his suit jacket as he crossed around the desk.

"You could have told the truth." He stopped short of reaching for Steve, forcing his hands behind his back where he clasped his wrist at parade rest.

"I probably should have." Steve looked at Phil, his eyebrows going up in a hopeful glance. "If I tell the truth now, can I take you out for dinner?"

"How about, instead, I cook for you?" Phil asked. "I haven’t in years, and you seem more the type to stay at home, given the chance. Do you still live at that apartment in Brooklyn?"

"You know about my apartment?" Steve asked.

"I’m your handler, I have everything on file," Phil said, sheepish. "I know, I’m the world’s creepiest stalker right now. I understand if that’s too much or if you’re uncomfort—"

Steve silenced him with a kiss, leaning over and cupping Phil’s jaw in one large hand. Phil’s eyes slid closed of their own volition, a reedy noise escaping him. Steve was inexperienced, but he made up for it with enthusiasm, and Phil took over, nipping at his lower lip before he pulled back for air. Steve’s eyes were dark, and Phil smiled, glancing away.

"Dinner at home sounds fine," Steve said. "I’ll rent us a movie, and you can cook. It’ll be a nice night."

"Okay," Phil said, catching his breath. "Okay. Uh, seven on Friday?"

"Not tonight?" Steve asked. "Are you busy?"

He was, although it was all paperwork that could wait until morning. He looked at his inbox, crammed with files from several departments.

"If I say yes, can I still swing by tonight?"

"Yes, but if you bring paperwork with you, I might be inclined to lock you out."

Phil chuckled. “No paperwork, I promise. Tonight at seven?”

"Sounds good." Steve rocked back on his heels, a grin on his face. He seemed to consider for a moment, then leaned forward again, giving Phil a chaste kiss. Phil leaned into it, basking in the warmth of it. He almost regretted Steve pulling back again.

"Yeah, that sounds good to me, too." Phil ran his tongue along his lips. "You knew about everything didn’t you? The shipping, the comments, everything."

"I did," Steve said, smiling. "It was all a ruse to get you to agree to dinner. You figured me out in the end, though."

"So, do you ship us, then?" Phil’s voice was amused.

Steve leaned his forehead against Phil’s. “I’m starting to see the up sides, yes. What about you?”

Phil rested his head against Steve’s. “Ask me after dinner tonight. We’ll see. I still ship me with Stark.”

"Stark?" Steve’s voice was intrigued. "How does that even work?"

"Lots of angry sex." Phil laughed.

"You’re going to have to explain some of them to me."

"Some of them are unexplainable." Phil shrugged. "I’ll be happy to explain them later, though."

Steve looked back at Phil’s half-eaten breakfast. “Uh, right, I should let you get back to that.”

"I’ll see you tonight, all right?" Phil reached out and slid a hand down Steve’s arm, taking his hand in a tentative grip. Steve kissed him again, and Phil’s eyes slid closed once more.

"Yeah," Steve murmured against his mouth. "Tonight."

"Tonight," Phil said, pressing on Steve’s chest. "As much as I like this, and want it to continue, if you keep it up, I’ll never make my meeting with Director Fury in half an hour."

"Half an hour?" Steve looked thoughtful. "You have time."

"I do," Phil said. "But not the first time. Dinner first. Let’s do this properly."

"A little old-fashioned, don’t you think?"

"Sometimes a guy needs a little old-fashioned," Phil said with a wry lift at the corners of his mouth.

Steve kissed him once more before slipping out of the office. Phil went back to his breakfast with a dazed look on his face. The nerf dart from the vents impacting his forehead didn’t even serve to sour his mood, much to Clint’s annoyance.

All told, it was a good day.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Cap-Coulson ship manifesto contest, and was challenging to do, for a myriad of reasons. One, my hard drive on my PC died while writing this. As in it shuffled off its mortal coil. It ceased to be. Glad all my writing was dropboxed. Two, Steve had to discover shipping in a natural enough way that it would make it believable. I remembered a headcanon I had about [Phil running the official Avengers tumblr](http://shield-nanny-archives.tumblr.com/post/32747219024/headcanon-4), and voila -- instant awkward pre-slash and Steve being shit at flirting. Okay, lovelies, enjoy!


End file.
